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Jack Schitt
Remember this and you'll no longer be at a loss when someone says, "you
don't know Jack Schitt!"*
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? Well
thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can respond in an intellectual way.
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Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of Needeep N Schitt, Inc. They had
one son Jack.
In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Despite her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school drop out. After being married 15 years Jack and Noe Schitt divorce.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
with them she wanted to keep her previous name, she became known as Noe
Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son with
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the local
newspaper announced the Schitt Happens nupitals. The Schitt - Happens
children were Dawg, Byrd and Horse.
Bull Schitt left home to tour the world and recently returned from Italy
with his new Italian bride Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them.
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