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A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron,
25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it
can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes
into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years
to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it
has half as many peons but twice as many morons. -- Brian J Pugh
Checked for harmful content by WorldHQ Spam Trap (NN) and believed to
be clean.
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